#Memories - Chapter 8: Beauty in Dark Times

Yay! 2021 is finally here. Are you still in lockdown? Well… I am. And guess what? There hasn’t been just one single lockdown — we have all lived our own versions of it since 2020. Some people were forced into months of unbroken solitude, while others were trapped for weeks with an estranged spouse. Some even experienced it as something positive: a welcome opportunity to slow down, go for walks, chill out with a loving partner, or simply enjoy quality time with their children.

However, no matter how lockdown played out for each of us, there has been one almost universal experience throughout these months: it abruptly disrupted our daily routines and living arrangements in ways we could never have imagined. Will this strange time have left its mark on us — not just superficially, but deep down? As we cautiously step back into the world, are we doing so with altered personalities? And if so, how will our new selves cope as we begin to mix and travel once again?

Anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that we are not going back to the way we were. Personally, I have felt less stressed due to the lack of constant rushing, at least in some respects. At the same time, I have also felt more withdrawn and introverted. Friends of mine — who have not been too adversely affected either — agree that they feel different: more reflective, perhaps, but also less sociable and more easily irritated.

While many experts agree that the pandemic and the accompanying lockdowns have already changed our personalities, they also acknowledge how difficult it is to determine exactly how much people have changed and in what ways. Still, I firmly believe that if you look around, the evidence is crystal clear.

In my own case, as a teacher, I have struggled deeply with indifference. Firstly, there were parents who had little to no idea of what their children were doing throughout the academic year, yet still had the nerve to complain about our work — even though there is clear evidence of the countless attempts we made to contact them. Secondly, the irritability of our bosses, regardless of where one works, has completely altered our perception of work during lockdown. It is simply not acceptable to focus only on the negative aspects while ignoring all the meaningful contributions we have managed to make during such difficult times. Being a teacher, in particular, has been utterly demanding, deeply misunderstood, and painfully unappreciated — and that is something that must be said.

Thirdly, there are the senseless decisions made by governments, especially in non-developed countries like mine, where ministries of education have failed to understand that the conditions required for face-to-face education with children are still far from being met. Yet, they continue to push teachers to their limits and demand schools achieve goals that are simply unreachable without the necessary resources or institutional support.

And finally — though certainly not least — there is the indifference shown by some of our students. Don’t get me wrong: many of them are doing incredibly well, and I could not be prouder. However, there is a small group of bright-minded souls who have not yet understood that education evolves, and that they must also adapt and find ways to make the most out of online lessons, even when the process feels challenging. What hurts the most is their lack of interaction. Teaching is a process that requires constant feedback — whether through speaking, chatting, asking questions, or simply raising a digital hand — yet this participation is often absent. I consider myself fortunate, as my own students usually try their hardest, but sadly, this is not always reflected across other subjects. Are they truly aware of the damage this might cause once everything comes to an end? I have tried to make them understand countless times, but only a few have truly grasped the message.

That said, I believe that for people who shared lockdown with a supportive partner — whether students, teachers, or those working from home — this intense period may have offered a valuable opportunity for personal growth. By contrast, for those confined for months in unhappy relationships or hostile environments, the effects on their personalities are almost certainly negative.

If lockdown has changed us in some way, then as restrictions are eased around the world, a natural question arises: can we change back? Do we even want to return to who we were before, or are we comfortable with this new version of us? Personally, I feel less inclined to socialise than I once did, even at a safe distance. At the same time, I feel empowered — determined not to let others sidetrack me from my goals, and unwilling to tolerate harsh words in a world that already feels deeply wounded. I have learned to value myself, my work, and the people around me more than ever before, while losing sympathy for those who constantly focus on negativity and refuse to acknowledge their own faults.

To make a long story short, if you are reading this, I invite you to seek beauty in the simple moments of everyday life. Look for the smiles of those who are genuinely happy to have you around, or simply be grateful for not being among those who have lost a loved one and are still learning how to cope with unbearable pain. Life is, ultimately, about choices — and I made mine when I chose to look for beauty, even in the darkest of times.