Hi there
readers! I've been out for a while, but I'm back... This time I am seated with
my laptop writing about one of my latest experiences. Few months ago, I had the
possibility of trying for a second time that feeling you get when you get into
the place where you finished studying, your school. It's been a long time since
I stepped into it for the last time, so many things came to my mind as soon as
I was walking the stairs to get inside. Would they recognize me? Would it look
the same? Would I see the same old faces? Would I feel secure? accepted?
I reckon, a
friend of mine once told me that when you leave a place without getting the “exit
pass” you come back occasionally feeling no guilty at all, and that’s exactly
how I felt.
I kept thinking
about how many years had passed by. Did I really waste five years by not
contacting my group of fellow mates (professionally talking)? You see, I had a
falling out with some old colleagues (just because I was very stressed by then),
but growing up together since I left school, we became very closed, not
besties, but we were certainly very close through the years, That was until we
had a huge disagreement, so I left the place, I unplugged myself and we
didn’t speak for what seemed like forever.
Admittedly, I
was the one to blame. Though at that time, I didn’t see it that way. Now that
years have passed, I feel that I should have spoken out, I should have let
others to see what I saw, I should have acted… I should have spoken (like
Taylor Swift says)
When someone
means a lot to you and then disappears, it leaves this huge void in your life, and
possibly all because you couldn’t admit any wrongdoing or simply because you
didn’t express the feelings and therefore you runway. It’s something you can’t
sweep under the rug so easily.
So, during 5
years, I wondered what they were up to… Should I try to contact them? It had
been so long that I didn’t know what to think indeed, but life is so clever, you
seem to catch up with them unintentionally when you are in a grocery-store or
simple by walking downtown, or in my very own case… catching up on some English
language seminars, that avoiding saying “Hello” would have been so rude.
Sometimes we
take a sole stand, even if it’s against close friends or people that surround
our lives. Maybe we won’t budge because we know we’re right (or we tend to refuse
to admit we’re wrong). And if we can’t make sense of it all, maybe we wonder if
we should let it be.
After five long
years, our paths crossed once again. I heard they were willing to get in touch
with me or accepting me into their herd. I felt the same and was eager to
finally meet up and talk in person.
It just so
happened they also wondered how I was and what I was up to. After our talk,
it’s like we never lost a beat, of course the connection was damaged, but it
was indeed not a topic of conversation. We took some time to bring ourselves up
to speed and it seems that my childish period was simple erased, I don't blame others for what I did, I just blame myself because I wasn't able to speak things clear... probably that was MY big mistake.
Reflecting on my
experiences taught me some valuable lessons about how to fix relationships.
These may work for you too, if you apply them wholeheartedly: Let the dust
settle first, give your ego a break and don’t be afraid to reach out first or
at least to give it a try.
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